“Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.” - 2 Corinthians 1:9

At this point in his second letter to the Corinthian church, Paul addresses his and his companions afflictions during their missionary work in Asia. They were so incredibly burdened that they “felt” they were going to die. “But” - I love that word. It means the story doesn’t end there. It means there is a turn in direction. This verse doesn’t end with just a feeling, it ends with a purpose. There was another side to the story. Behind the curtain, there is something else going on. Through the affliction, God was calling them into greater levels of dependence on Him. The affliction wasn’t ideal, but a position where they’re growing in dependence on God is the best position for Paul and his companions to be in, and so it is with us.

Can you imagine the feelings Jesus had as he carried his cross through Jerusalem? His body already diced up by the flogging? The feelings he had when he got to Golgotha and watched Simon of Cyrene drop the cross to the ground? When they laid him on the cross and nailed his hands and feet to the wood, and then lifted up the cross into an upright position? At that point, his fate was sealed. This may have “felt” like a death sentence, but buried underneath those feelings was conviction grounded in purpose. He knew how this story was going to end. The cross didn’t have the last word. He knew resurrection was right around the corner and there was a throne waiting for him.

Outside of Christ, we were under a death sentence. In Christ, we become alive, and alive to his purposes. That’s one of the many reasons why Jesus died for us! As followers of Christ, don’t let your feelings dictate the narrative. I’m not saying to become zombies and suppress your feelings. God wants us to cry out to Him and express our feelings. But feelings are inconsistent, they come and go moment to moment and day to day. Sometimes our feelings lie to us. What I am saying is, don’t read into your feelings at the expense of what God is doing in the midst of your hardship. As followers of Christ, we don't have to let our feelings dictate the narrative because He whose conviction that was grounded in purpose is now embedded in us and lives in us! How we “feel” isn’t the end of the story. There is another narrative going on. God’s narrative of purpose is greater than the narrative of defeat our feelings so easily create. God’s purposes don’t lie to us, and they are rock solid. Through our hardships, God is calling us into greater levels of dependence on Him. Our affliction isn’t ideal, but a position where we’re growing in dependence on God is the best position to be in. This is what we enter into when we put our faith in Christ. The feelings aren’t anything new, we had feelings before Christ. What we now have in Christ is life and purpose. Because of Jesus and his resurrection, we know how the story is going to end. Our hardships don’t have the last word. Fix your eyes on Jesus. Our "feelings" during a hardship may not go away, but we can triumphantly march forward in the midst of them! Resurrection is right around the corner for us and there is glory waiting for us.

“This light momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison” - 2 Corinthians 4:17.